Caregiving for LGBTQ+ Persons
In June we observe LGBTQ+ Pride Month. Caregiving needs for LGBTQ+ people as we age are exactly the same as our heterosexual colleagues, except they aren’t. As an under-represented often-maligned group, LGBTQ+ people have shared a communal history that is significantly different from our heterosexual friends and families. That history leaves us with questions, concerns, and a fair amount of skepticism when approaching organizations and institutions for care.
We have survived the AIDS crisis, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the Defense of Marriage Act, and any number of other situations that suggest our best interests may not considered in the larger society, including the hundreds of anti-LGBTQ+ bills that are winding their way through state legislatures at this time. Our second-class status has been reinforced in our faith communities, schools, families, the military, media and other important institutions of our society.
As a result, we may be somewhat skeptical about receiving support from outside institutions. That has resulted in LGBTQ+ seniors being 1/5 as likely to seek senior services, compared to our heterosexual colleagues. If possible, we want to know that healthcare facilities, housing facilities, hospice, medical practitioners, and others have a track record of being sensitive to issues and concerns of LGBTQ+ people, particularly if professional caregivers will be coming into our homes.
Still, we are a resilient crew, and particularly because of the early AIDS crisis, we learned that we must take care of our own. A common term among LGBTQ+ people is “family of choice.” These families are composed of our friends, partners, associates and others with whom we may be closer than our biological families. They are the ones we call on and care for when someone needs caregiving support. When we think of “family caregiving” many of us are thinking about our chosen families. We are more likely to live alone and five times less likely to have children and grandchildren than our heterosexual colleagues, so the challenges of aging may be magnified without our having a ready group of “family caregivers.”
As allies, our heterosexual friends and associates can be an important part of our support systems. They can offer transportation, meal prep, companionship or other assistance to those of us who live alone. They can insist that senior services organizations include sexual orientation and gender identity among their civil rights protections. They can request that those same organizations include LGBTQ+ sensitivity training for all staff.
If you want to learn more about issues related to LGBTQ+ caregiving, contact SAGE USA (https://www.sageusa.org/resource-category/caregiving). If you know of someone who might benefit from connections with other LGBTQ+ seniors, contact Carolina Aging Alliance (www.carolinaaging.org), based in Raleigh and Greensboro. They can help find connections throughout North Carolina.
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